


The Vow

by elysianaurora



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: After their sentencing, Family, Future Fic, Happy Ending, M/M, Parents, Post-Canon, Romance, i really suck at tags, mickey is triggered by events of 5x12, post 9x06, post Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 04:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18490912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysianaurora/pseuds/elysianaurora
Summary: The entire fight isn't Mickey’s fault. But he did get in his car and drove away leaving Ian and his children behind.After a heated argument both Ian and Mickey find themselves reflecting on the years they've spent together trying to pick apart where they went wrong in this one fight and the steps they need to take to make it better. Mickey knows he has to turn the car around and go home,  and Ian knows he must say he's sorry.Mickey is afraid Ian wouldn't understand why he was triggered and Ian is afraid Mickey won't come home.





	1. To Have

**Author's Note:**

> This idea totally came to me at the most random time. I was not planning on writing this but somehow it hit me, so I hope you all enjoy it. 
> 
> I know a lot of people are against Yev being in Mickey’s life and I understand that as well as they think Mickey wouldn't go looking for Yev after his prison sentence is served. I too agree but I have written that plot into more than one of my stories because it makes for a good story and well I kinda da like the idea of Mickey being a dad. 
> 
> Sit back read and enjoy these five chapters of well, a random fic 😂

" />

 

It’s not his fucking fault.

All the events that led up to this very moment isn’t his fault. Sure, Mickey is the one that walked away. He got into his car and started driving and now he was heading out of Chicago at…he glances at the clock on the dashboard…2:32 am. On any regular night he’d already by dead asleep. But even if he stayed he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. The lump in his throat and the contracting tightness of his chest just wouldn’t allow it. He tries to focus on the road, to figure out where exactly he’s going. He didn’t really have a plan at all, but when the yelling and tears just increased so did his long ago default mechanism of running in order to save his own skin.

Now he’s driving down a less than busy street just after midnight still wearing his work clothes from an entire day’s work. All he really wanted was to come home, eat a nice hot meal, maybe get fucked hard into the mattress of their new king sized bed and then sleep until the next day’s afternoon, his regular routine when he had a day off. But instead of spending hours on his back with his legs spread wide while his man drilled deep into him making him forget his own damn name, they’d spent hours arguing in hushed tones so the kids won’t wake up and then all together giving up and just screaming at one another. But none of it was his fault. No, he isn’t going to accept or admit to anything being his fault. It just isn’t.

He’s not the one who said things almost ten years ago that made Mickey want the earth to swallow him whole afterwards. The little doubt lingering in his mind momentarily disappeared as Mickey thought of how justified his reactions really were. But then he had to think of the kids. He had to think of how maybe it wasn’t his idea initially to have them but he had agreed and accepted to love and care for those children, to help bring them into the world. So he hesitates momentarily as he reaches the point to turn onto the freeway. Maybe he just needs a little time…Ian will just have to wait.

The night sky was darker than Mickey can remember ever seeing it with a few stars scattered around barely glowing with the city light gleaming up in its direction. _You ever think about what the sky would look like if the all the lights on earth came off?_ He remembers hearing Ian say. Fuck, it’s been more than a decade since he’s thought about that night.

“Why you always have to say stupid gay shit like that?” A young Mickey asked around a glowing cigarette as he buckled his pants while looking out at the baseball field. He breathes in a much needed steady breath after the most intense orgasm he’d just had. He looks over to see the way Ian’s eyes fell a little but he still had a lazy smile on his face. The young boy had a sheen of sweat over his face his short red hair glowing from the flood lights that illuminated the empty baseball field. Mickey feels an itch to lift his hand and run it through the red strands but he quickly looks away and back at the brightly lit field, “Anyways…I’m sure there are places you can go where there’s no city lights and you can watch your precious fucking Milky Way from all the down on earth.” Mickey mumbled turning his attention to the cigarette in his hand trying his best to avoid the burn in the palm of his hand that he’d gotten a couple days before when his dad held his hand against the muffler of the running car when he thought Mickey was the one who stole his last beer.

“I wanna go there some day.” Ian whispered softly almost like he didn’t even want the older boy to hear. Mickey looked at him and the way he gazed at the open green grass, his own green eyes glowing with wonder. Fuck, Mickey felt really fucking gay at that moment but he couldn’t help that nagging feeling and thought he’d been having since his last week in Juvie about a month ago. He keeps pushing out the thought that maybe he just might actually be gay out of his head because he doesn’t need to think about that kind of shit. Thinking about that kind of shit can only make him get careless with what he and Ian’s been doing and he knows he could get into a lot of deep trouble.

“You ready for round two? Or you wanna watch your fucking stars and jerk off?” Mickey teased causing Ian to laugh as he started undoing his pants for the second time that night. It was all Mickey could do not to blurt out his most recent thoughts and revelations to the boy. So he settled for revelling in the tip of Ian’s dick prodding at his already stretched hole. Sighing at the pressure and then losing himself in to sting. He braces his hands on the chain link fence of the dugout letting Ian drape himself over his back. He feels a twinge in his right leg where he got shot months ago, he moves his legs in a little to stop the slight pain that comes when he angles it badly. The movement makes Ian’s thrust feel that much tighter in him and deeper and they’re both groaning at the feeling. He feels Ian’s hot breath in the back of his neck and usually he’d snap at the boy to stop heating up his neck because the summer heat was hot enough on is own, but he likes it and he admonishes himself for wanting what he knows is coming. He feels the soft kiss Ian lays on the back of his neck like he’s done every time in the past month since Mickey got out of Juvie. Mickey hasn’t commented on it and he isn’t going to, because if he does say something it’d have to be to quit it, but he doesn’t want Ian to stop doing it. He’s been thinking a lot recently of maybe letting Ian kiss him, and before he knows it the thought of the act itself gets Mickey riled up and he teeters on the edge of his release. But fuck, kissing is too fucking gay so he pushes the thoughts out his head. But then he feels his orgasm retreats a little so he says fuck it and gives in to the fantasy.

The fantasy of letting Ian’s press his lips against Mickey’s, feeling that softness of their pillowy lips against each other. Maybe he’d let Ian slip his tongue between his lips and lick into his mouth and oh fuck he’s coming all over himself before he could even finish the thought. Ian follows right behind and his hips stutter against against Mickey’s. The redhead pulls out and he’s breathing heavy and he his neck and chest gleams with sweat. Mickey doesn’t even know when Ian had yanked his shirt off but he’s pretty glad he did because now he gets to enjoy the sight as he tucks himself into his boxers, pulls up his pants and sit on the concrete ledge. It’s a shame he doesn’t get to revel in these euphoric moments longer, it’s a shame it’s all cut short a couple weeks later when Frank catches him and Ian in the freezer at the Kash and Grab causing Mickey to go into survival mode and do what he thinks is best – punch a cop. Eight months sentence for breaking his probation.

The memory doesn’t help to appease Mickey’s anxiety in the whole thing and he wonders now if Ian is handling this situation and his feelings any better.

* * *

  
It’s all his fucking fault.

He knows it. Mickey knows it. Their neighbors next door knows it. The homeless guy sleeping behind their building probably knows it. It’s all Ian’s fault. There Ian went always wanting more. It wasn’t that what he and Mickey had wasn’t good enough, Ian had been thinking of this specific things since he was a teenager. He’s been wanting this for most of his life. He sighs heavily as he lets his body fall against the couch. He looks around their home. The house they bought with their money, the legal way. He looks at the fact that they have a fucking fruit bowl sitting on the kitchen counter that he can see from where he’s sitting. He fucked up. He knows that but Mickey left. That’s one Mickey not him. How the fuck could Mickey just pick up and leave? They have three kids whose in their beds now probably crying because they heard Mickey and Ian yelling. Yevgeny hasn’t gotten used to loud people screaming their feelings. Ian still remembers how soundly he slept through it all when he was just a baby. Most likely Yevgeny would still be sleeping. After all he’s got that math exam tomorrow so Ian’s hoping he didn’t hear. The other two on the other hand he doesn’t know if they’re awake. He thinks that maybe he should get up and check but his body feels like a heavy weight on the couch and he tells himself in five minutes.

He’s always been the selfish one and he’s starting to realize how big a mistake he made tonight. He couldn’t just leave shit the way it was. Everything was going fucking great. It kind of reminds Ian of when he, Mickey, Svetlana and the rest of Milkoviches all resided under one roof. They were their own version of the Tanners on Full House. And even if they got angry and started yelling shit just fizzled out and it was back to normal the next day.

“You don’t give a shit about anyone other than you and the fire fuck in there.” He could still hear Svetlana’s angry voice like it was yesterday and not ten years before. He was lying on his and Mickey’s bed with a five month old Yevgeny sleeping on his chest. He rubs a hands down the baby’s back soothingly hoping he doesn’t wake up.

“I’m fucking here aint I?” Mickey screams back, “The fuck more you want? Huh? You want my goddamn liver? It’s probably in bad fucking shape but that what you want?”

Svetlana yells something in Russian and even Ian can tell it’s not good and then Mickey’s storming in their room and heading straight for the underwear drawer. He grabs a roll of cash he’s had hidden there for a couple days before and then heads back out into the living room. Ian keeps his eyes open wide as he looks down at Yevgeny whose still sleeping his pink pouty lips parted as his cheeks is pressed against Ian’s chest. Ian can’t help but smile despite the chaos outside. “Here. This is all the fucking cash I have right now. Go buy your fucking prenatal and you better give me half of that paycheck you collect when you off load that baby.” Mickey grumbled before coming back into their room and slamming the door. He looks up at Ian as he shrugs off his hoodie like he’s now noticing the redhead there with the sleeping baby, “Sorry.” He mutters as he strips his jeans and his T-shirt off before heading into the bathroom.

Ian can feel himself drifting off to sleep, his hand still rubbing at Yev’s back when he hears the bedroom door open. He opens his eyes to see Svetlana walking in, she’s ready to head out, “Watch Yevgeny while I go to doctors appointment. I be back before you go to club.” Ian only nods as she heads out of the room and then he hears the front door slam. Ian lets his eyes fall close again until he feels the bed dip when Mickey lays down. He feels Mickey’s heat come closer and his face bury isn’t the space between Ian’s head and shoulder. When he opens his eyes again its to see Mickey’s hand holding one Yev’s and it’s the first time he’s ever seen Mickey allow himself to be comforted by the child. He lets his eyes fall close again until he wakes up a hour later to Yev’s soft whimpers as lays between Mickey and Ian.

Ian blinks back a couple tears as he sits on their couch thinking back on the days when his heart would swell whenever he saw just a glimpse of how much love Mickey really had to give. He wonders why it never seems to be enough and why he always tends to push for more. He looks down at his phone on the coffee table and picks it up dialing Mickey’s number.

_This is Mickey…leave a message or don’t don’t. I don’t really give a fuck._

Ian smiles before he hears the beep, “Hey…I think it’s time you come home, Mick. We don’t even have to talk. I’ll sleep on the couch if it makes you feel better. Please. Come home.”

“Fuck Mickey, I fucked up. Come home so I can tell you I’m sorry.”

“Hey…it’s me again. I get why you got mad…actually I don’t. I don’t have a fucking clue what was so wrong with me asking you to marry me. Come home and tell me.”

“Mick…I love you so much. I messed up and I really just wanna see you and tell you that. Please come home babe.” He sobbed before throwing the phone to the counter. He lets his body relax into the plush grey couch before quickly being startled by the small voice on the other end of the room, “Dad”

He looks up to see their three year old twins standing in their doorway each holding an end of their fuzzy blanket. Their red hair disheveled, one face with tears streaming down. “Come here.” He says with open arms as the waddle over towards him. They each climb onto the couch with his help settling on either side of him. “Sorry we woke you baby.” He said to them both while rubbing their backs. He looks down at his little girl as she looks up at him while pressing his cheek to his chest. “I’m sorry.” He says again wiping a tear from her face and kissing his little boy’s head.


	2. To Hold

" />

 

Mickey parks his car in the parking lot of a 24-hour convenience store and has station and lets his head fall against the curve of the steering wheel. He grunts in frustration as he thinks of how much worse he’s made things by leaving. He’s always said that even if I’m the future he and Ian become so damaged in their relationship beyond repair that he could walk away but he’d never walk away from his children. But even Mickey knows that he could never truly walk away from Ian. Not after being shot in his leg by Kash, not after they’d gotten caught by Frank, or by his own dad for that matter. Not after being married to Svetlana or having Yev, or Ian’s stint in the army. Nothing has ever made Mickey stay away from Ian. Whether it be US army, his bigoted father or Ian’s own mental illness nothing was strong enough to break their love. A love that has only ever grown since despite the challenges it has faced. He sits in the empty parking lot looking up at the freeway just ahead, cars swishing past under the steady glow of street-lamps, he’s sees the faces of his three children and he can’t help but scold himself for even thinking about getting into that car. For driving away, even if it was just to think and clear his head.

Mickey had never seen himself becoming a father. He always knew there were ways deep rooted in him by his father and he never wanted to give himself the opportunity to bring a life into the world and treat them the way he was treated or worse yet pass down Terry’s fucked up ways to that kid. But the first time around Mickey didn’t really have a choice in the matter. But even though he still had nightmares about that very day still, he’d come to grow a love for his first child, so strong he knows if the day comes he’d die for him.

Loving Yevgeny hadn’t been an easy journey for Mickey. His first few months alive were probably the hardest. Mickey wouldn’t even look in his direction. Those few months he’d spent mostly curled into a comforter on the floor of the Gallagher’s upstairs bedroom, being stepped in when Liam crept out of bed at night or when Ian rolled out of his own bed. He’d wake up with a strained pain in his back as he stretched his way down the Gallagher steps.

“You sleep good?” Ian asked from his place at the stove. He had a pep in his step that Mickey couldn’t help but notice as he skittered around kitchen. As Mickey descended down the last two stairs a cup of warm coffee was being handed off to him by Ian before the redhead could bounce back toward the stove where he flipped pancakes.

“What’s got you so cheery?” Debbie asks as he comes into the kitchen with way too much makeup on.

“You trip and fall into the fucking makeup or something?” Mickey asked as he sits down at the table. He grunts as he collects a tap at the back of his head before a plate of pancakes as set down in front him.

“Can I sleep over at a friends tonight?” Debbie asks as she grabs a bag of lunch off the counter.

“Sure, Debs.” Ian says excitedly as he bounds over to the table.

Mickey looks up a her and he can’t help but see Mandy, “This friend a guy or a girl?” He asks.

“Does it really matter?”

“Yeah. It fucking does. The answer is no if it’s a dude. Is it that 20 year old guy from the pizza place?”

Debbie’s eyes widen because she clearly didn’t expect Mickey to know much at about Matty.

“I didn’t ask you.” She grumbled as she walked past him and out the back door.

“Have a good day at school.” He smiles as he calls after her.

Mickey is watching Ian carefully and he doesn’t think he ever seen him this happy before. Actually he doesn’t even think he’d describe this as happy. It was too much. Too excited like he was high off something. “You seriously gonna let her sleep over at some dude’s place?”

“It’s Debbie. She’s careful. Plus…think about what we were doing when we were fifteen.”

“Exactly.”

Mickey finished his breakfast and by the time he was pulling his coat on Ian was crowding his space against the door. “We’ve got an entire house to ourselves.” He smiles down at the shelter man as he runs a hand over Mickey’s ass.

“I gotta go met Svetlana at the Rub n Tug man or she’s gonna have my ass and I’m not in the mood to deal with her shit today.”

“What if I have your ass then?” Ian asked as he looks down at with this blown out lustful look and before he knows it he’s being dragged back up the steps.

He strolls into the Alibi an hour and half later and he could already see Svetlana glaring at him on the other end of the bar while the kid against her chest. She saunters over to him and pokes him harshly in the chest. “Pimp is suppose to be boss. He does not get to be late after rubbing his-”

“Oh relax, Kev’s just as much your boss as I am.” Mickey snaps as he moves toward the bar and reaches over to grab a clean glass and the bottle of vodka.

“Christening is this weekend. You show up, it’s the same day your father gets out of prison. He will be there. So no carrot boy.”

An old hairy fat guy walks in and looks Svetlana up and down before he nods toward the stairs. “Go on up big guy.”

“Lose the kid by the time you’re down on your knees.” He mumbles as he heads toward the staircase.

Mickey glances back at the guy but he’s already up the stairs and Svetlana‘s looking at him with this look of expectance.

“You hold baby while I go work.” She says coming closer and holding the sleeping child out.

“Fuck no!”

“It’s either I go up their and blow him while you hold baby or you go and blow him while I hold baby.” She said with a raised eyebrow. Mickey flares his nostril as he reluctantly takes his son from her arm. She disappears up the steps before he could protest anymore and suddenly he’s being left sitting in an almost empty bar with Yevgeny in his arms. The child was sleeping but he slowly starts to wake up and fuss. Mickey doesn’t really know what to do. The moment he spots Veronica coming out from the back room he asks her to take the kid, “Nah-uh. I get enough of that shit at home. I don’t need to be baby sitting your half hooker kid. No offense.”

“Yeah…none taken.” He looks down again at the kid and he can’t seem to figure out why he’s fussing. “You think he’s like hungry or some shit?”

“Nah. I saw your wife feeding him like fifteen minutes ago. Check and see if he has a dirty diaper.”

Mickey squirms inwardly before lifting the kid to check his diaper. “I think it’s clean…doesn’t smell.” Veronica looks at him before shaking her head. She leans over and checks the kid, “hmm, he’s fed, clean and dry…the only thing I can think of is the kid knows he’s with a stranger.”

Mickey couldn’t help but feel the path of hurt that hit him at the sound of that statement. He quickly gets up and heads up the steps. When he gets there he doesn’t see Svetlana. “She’s there.” The blonde with the lazy eye says pointing toward the curtain pulled.

“Which one of you is Raisa?” Mickey asks as he looks around at the girls. A brunette with curly oily hair raises a hand looking at him curiously. He walks towards her dumping the kid in her arms before he’s heading back downstairs. He’d never felt like such a piece of shit in his life. Not even when he was being beat on by Terry when he was a kid. He’s always told himself he didn’t wanna be a father because he didn’t want to fuck up another kid. The world had enough Milkoviches already. But what could he really do now? The kid was already alive, breathing. He was warm and soft and Mickey feels like he could walk back up the steps and take the kid back but he head down to the bar and sits on his stool and snaps at anyone who dare to talk to him.

Mickey knew he wasn’t the best father. He knew he was shitty toward Yevgeny and it wasn’t until Svetlana had put the kind in his arms the morning after he came out in front that bar did things really start to change. Ian had been lying in bed for more than four days now and Mickey couldn’t help but start to worry. After he and Fiona had their outburst he’d looked up the thing she said, bipolar. After reading what he deemed as enough he turned off the phone and looked around the empty living room. Yevgeny stirred in his basinet making Mickey lean over to check if he was okay. Svetlana was out at the Rub n Tug and Mandy was at that fucking squirrel-waffle whatever place. That’s what the past three days has been like and Mickey starting to not mind it. Well besides the fact that his boyfriend his laying in bed and not moving. He picks Yevgeny up and decides to head into their room to check on Ian. A day before Ian had turned away from the window and how he was facing the door. Mickey had thought it was progress from then Ian yelled at Mandy when she came in to try and get him to eat about leaving him alone.

Mickey’s first assumption is that Ian’s sleeping because his eyes are closed but then when he moves into the room and his feet shuffle against the carpet of his room Ian’s eyes open. There’s a small flicker of something there when he sees Mickey with the baby in his arms but Mickey chocked it up to him just being hopeful that something Ian’s getting better. He sets Yevgeny down on the bed beside Ian as he goes over toward the drawer in his chest of drawers that Mandy had cleared out for things for the kid. He gets a diaper and pair of socks, he can’t help but feel a little proud at the progress he’s made in the few short days. He heard Yev laugh and he turns around to see the baby reaching out toward Ian, with a smile on his face. Ian’s arms are no longer buried under the blanket but he’s got one arm out close to Yev’s head. The giggling baby grabs a hold of Ian’s pinky finger and waves it around excitedly. Mickey walks closer and he can’t help but feel a sense of relief wash over him as he watches Ian look at Yevgeny. It was the first time he really felt like he’d loved his son. And he always told himself that Ian helped him love Yevgeny. Because despite Ian being so deep down in his sadness that not even Mickey could pull him out, Ian still found it in his heart to love Mickey’s son.

He looks around at the empty parking lot as he rubs a hand down his face. He shouldn’t have come here and should have left. He made promises and he’s breaking each one by sitting in this fucking parking lot.

* * *

Ian loves all his children with his entire being. He loves them so much that he knows he’d do anything for them. It doesn’t matter that any of them actually aren’t his biologically, he loves them all equally. Yevgeny, being the eldest at ten years old, was the first one he’d ever learned to love like his own. He was a baby that was easy to love. He was always quiet until he’d let out a belt if his laughter and Ian would feel his heart swell. He thinks it’s mainly because the child is Mickey’s son. But he knew if he’d met Svetlana as a stranger and she had Yevgeny in her arms he’d easily fall in love with Yev. Getting to where they were as a family definitely wasn’t easy.

Ian thinks back and sometimes he wonders how selfish he had been when Mickey had gone to prison the first time. He thinks about how he’d let his relationship with Svetlana and Yevgeny dwindle away and how he almost acted like they never existed. He’d like to say he had a valid excuse. That he was trying to put himself back together. And maybe at the beginning he was but Ian knows he left them. After months of helping raise the child like his own he left them. Mickey tells him that he shouldn’t feel guilty about that because Yevgeny was never actually his responsibility. But Ian thinks that the moment he started living there and helping out Yev to sleep of helping bathe, feed or cloth him, the kid became his responsibility. But he also knows that getting back into Svetlana’s good graces after he ‘kidnapped’ Yevgeny wouldn’t be easy had he tried.

He thinks about when he and Mickey were standing at the border of Mexico when Mickey escaped prison. He was selfish in the sense that he’d never told Mickey to go see Yev. He never told Mickey to reach out to his son. He knows it wasn’t his place to do that but when he’s sticking to his place ever been something Ian did? Ian was selfish in keeping Mickey to himself and even more so when he chose himself at the border and let Mickey cross without him. He’d thought in his way back from his and Mickey’s escapade that he should reach out to Yevgeny. But he didn’t.

And that’s when making himself better stood being an excuse because everything after that was just downhill. He doesn’t even know at which point in time that Svetlana has moved out of the Southside and gotten married. He didn’t even think about those things then. He’d been caught up in the mania at the time and he was living what he would think at the moment was his best life. He looks down in the present day at the two babies curled up beside him and he knows Yev is just down the corridor and he thinks that this is in fact his best life.

It wasn’t until he’d gotten himself into prison for two years and found out he’d be bunking with one Mickey Milkovich did Ian really start to think things through. By order of the court, Ian received his doses morning and night and thought at first the haze made things hard for him to think through, when everything settled he found himself in their cell at night really thinking things through. He was with his Mickey again and even though he wouldn’t understand how Mickey could ever still love him he thought about what it all meant for him in the long run.

Mickey had gotten a year more than Ian. Meaning Ian would definitely be out before the black haired man. What would this very moment mean for him in the future? He thought about Yevgeny and how happy they all were in those few short months. He asked himself how exactly he and Mickey had gotten to that point in their lives. Ian wondered if he could be selfless enough to wait for Mickey.

It wasn’t until about a month after he had gotten out of prison did he decide to bring up Yev in his visits to Mickey. “So I called Svetlana.” He said casually making Mickey’s eyebrows climb high.

“What she say?”

“She told to me to never call again.” Ian said.

Mickey shrugged then looked at Ian expectingly, “Well…what you say when you called back?” He knew Ian way too well.

“I asked if I could meet her. Told her I wanna see Yev. She didn’t know you were here. Said she would have come see you. I’m meeting her tonight.”

“Well…I hope that goes good. What you hoping to get out of it?”

“To fix shit.” Ian said simply because Mickey at that point was no stranger to Ian’s tale of redemption or rather his yearn for it.

“Let me know how it goes. You find a place yet?”

“Yeah I had some money I saved up after…after Mexico. So I paid the deposit. Gonna start moving stuff in this week. I uh…I went by your old house too.”

“Fuck…my dad there?”

“Nah…I waited til he left. Went in and packed some of your shit up. You know, the good shit. And it’s sitting in my room in a box.”

“Why am I not shocked that my ‘good shit’ all fits into only one box” Mickey snorts as the buzzer sounded and the guards started to walk closer. “I’ll see you.”

“Yeah. I-I love you.” Ian whispered.

Mickey gave him a tight lipped smile before heading back to the recreation room.

After that Ian had spent months groveling with Svetlana. She’d told him that she didn’t want her child growing up anywhere near the life she had gotten him out of. So even though Ian had paid down on a six month lease he started looking at apartments closer to where she lived. By the time Mickey was released they had two months left on the lease and Ian had braved telling Mickey of his plan of living somewhere on the Northside. Mickey just looked at Ian with raised eyebrows before asking “Is that what you really want?”

After Ian had expressed that he thought it would be good for him and Mickey to be in Yev’s life Mickey was all well and ready to move to the northside. He looked around for jobs near to the new apartment and when he snagged a job at a garage fixing high end cars, Ian started making the move. Ian was working at the Chicago Police Department call centre and he put in a request for a transfer to a station closest to Svetlana. Soon enough Mickey and Ian became installments in the little boy’s life and they were quickly becoming something that resembled a family.

“So uh…I was thinking…” Mickey says scratching the back of his head as Svetlana looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes with this get it the fuck on kind of look. Ian looks up from the couch where he’s playing with Yev and then looks back down, he’s trying to act like he can’t hear them but he really hopes Svetlana says yes.

“Well…”

“Uh…Ian and I were talking and we were wondering if Yev could come stay with us…not like just for a night but like longer…couple days a week.”

Svetlana put down the party bag she was filling for Yev birthday party and looked up Mickey. “You want responsibility now?”

“Yeah…the kid seems to like Ian and Ian really likes him.”

“And what about you?”

“…yeah. I like him too. Fuck…I love him alright? And I wanna spend more tome with him.” He smiles because Mickey’s outbursts of love are one of his favourite things.

Yevgeny started spending a couple days a week with them after that and the boy, though he was already five years old had quickly taken to calling both Mickey and Ian dad. He’d adapted well to them and Ian was falling more and more in love with the idea of him being a father.

One night after Svetlana had come to pick Yev up he was laying beside Mickey in bed looking up at the ceiling. He wanted more out of life and he knew asking Mickey would be a big deal. He breathed in deeply and asked Mickey, “Can I ask you something by you promise to not freak out of get mad?”

“Just ask.” Mickey said his voice slightly muffled into his pillow.

“You ever think of having more kids?” His question was met with silence and he was kind of wishing he could reach into the air and take it back. Yank those words right out of the air.

“Are you thinking of having more kids?”

“Well…yeah. I’ve just been thinking. I sometimes wish we could have another, you know this time just being you and me. I love Svet but…” he tailed off.

Mickey breathed in deeply before turning toward Ian, “I’d be lying if I say I didn’t think about it. Getting close to Yev again. Makes me think of how much I missed out. Kinda wish I could do it right this time.”

“So you wanna try? To have a kid?”

“I love you…and you’re a smart fucker but I don’t think us ‘trying’ is gonna get us a kid. Doesn’t matter how much cum you shoot in my ass I’m not gonna get pregnant.” Mickey joked. Ian laughed as he lightly smacked Mickey’s chest, “you know what I mean.”

“Yeah…we can start reading up and shit.”

Ian looks down at his two kids in his arms, it feels like just yesterday rather than fiver years ago that they were having said conversation.

 


	3. To Love

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Mickey pulls the sun visor down like he has a million times before. He reached behind the tight pocket and pulls out the little card he’s had tucked there for a couple months now. _Happy birthday Dad_ written in varying colours and shakes handwriting looks up at him and he can only smile. He opens the card to find the picture he’s had tucked in there for some time now. It’s a family photo from the Fourth of July party Kev and V had three years before. Yev’s sitting on Mickey’s shoulders with a newborn twin each in Ian and Mickey’s arms. They’re all smiling in the cameras direction while Yev makes bunny ears behind Ian’s head. They’re happy and if he was a stranger he’d assume they were married. He doesn’t know exactly why he freaked out he way he did when Ian proposed to him. He definitely hadn’t been expecting it to come that night but with Ian it was inevitable and some small part of Mickey knows it. But Mickey always gives. He’s always given and he hates being thrusted into a feel like things aren’t ever enough. And he gets that maybe Ian doesn’t even think that and just wants to marry him but he can’t help old insecurities that pop up from time to time.

When he and Ian had talked about having more kids, though he never said it, Mickey faced the dilemma of _is it that I’m not enough_. Having Yevgeny around was fun and Mickey knew that he too enjoyed the boy’s company and had thought at random times that he wouldn’t mind having another but he faced a trial in coming to terms with yes he is in fact enough. This was just a way for them to come to terms with it. They then spent the next three months after their discussion looking into all their options. The first thing they did was contact Mandy. Ian wanted the kid to have Mickey’s genes but Mickey wanted the kid to have Ian’s so Mandy seems like their best option as far as surrogates went. It took some convincing since she have to take off work for months and come back to Chicago. She did it though albeit a little grumpy. Ian had been buzzing with excitement as he headed into the clinic’s private room to jizz into a cup. They waited out the couple days before it was deemed the right time for Mandy to get pregnant to check. It was a success.

Mickey and Ian buzzed with new kind of energy bouncing between them as they delivered the news to Svetlana and all of Ian’s siblings. Everyone was happy and Ian’s sibling insisted on a traditional Gallagher party.

Their excitement however was short lived. Mandy had woken up one night and trudged from the guest bedroom to Mickey and Ian’s room and gently shook her brother awake. At only three months pregnant she wasn’t really showing and they hadn’t expected any emergencies but Mickey still flew off the bed to see what was wrong. “Somethings wrong. I’m bleeding.”

“Shit. Ian! Ian get up!” Mickey called shaking his boyfriend awake. They’d spent the night and the next day at the hospital delivered with the news that it was a miscarriage. Ian cried. He cried so much that Mickey himself didn’t even know what to do. They’d drifted apart after some time and Mickey could see Ian slipping into a deep dark hole that was only confirmed when Ian wouldn’t get out of bed for a couple days.

Mickey remembers how he’d felt like a truck had run over him for. Solid six months until he was the one approaching Ian about trying again.

“Ian?” Mickey asked into the darkness of their bedroom.

“Mm?”

“You know I love you right?” He asked causing Ian to turn toward him with furrowed brows.

“Yeah…what’s wrong?”

“I just feel like the last few months we’ve been kind of distant and I know it’s because of what happened, we lost our baby and I know we’re just healing but I can’t be this far from you.”

Ian shimmied closer until he was pressed against Mickey’s side, “Babe.” He whispered, “I’m so sorry. I just…I didn’t even realize.” He drakes and arm over Mickey and kisses his cheek.

“You want to try again?” Mickey asks.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah I mean the fact that we want a kid hasn’t changed. I think it’s time we try again.”

“Well good luck with finding another surrogate because Mandy did say it was once and once only.”

“What about one of your sisters?”

“You really wanna go look for Fiona? Haven’t seen in her in years. Who the fuck even knows if she’s still alive?”

Mickey snorted because if it was anyone who was alive it was Fiona…in some sense she was always a more refined Frank…nothing could ever knock her down.

“What about Debbie?” Mickey asks looking away from Ian’s eyes.

“The fact that your avoiding looking at me makes me think that you already asked.” Ian said turning Mickey by his chin to look him in the eye.

“And so what if I did?”

“What she say?” Ian asked.

“She said she’d do it whenever we were ready.”

And that’s how a couple days later they found themselves back at the clinic, this time with Mickey jizzing in the cup and Debbie being the one on the clinic bed. Debbie called five days later with the news that changed their lives forever. She was pregnant. Ian had been over the moon, Mickey could see it in his eyes but he could also see the way Ian was being cautious of being excited. He was scared to get too worked up to be disappointed again in the end. Every month more that Debbie made it, was a celebration and Mickey couldn’t help but feel like things were finally falling into place.

Mickey still remembers the day he and Ian found out the we having not one, but two babies join their family. He and Ian were standing by Debbies head while the doctor pointed at the screen. “And there is baby number 1’s head, and there….is baby number 2’s head.”

It took a moment before all three of them really heard what the doctor had said. “I’m sorry did you just say number 1 and 2?” Debbie asked while her brother and Mickey were standing with mouths hanging open.

“You didn’t know it was twins?”

“Does my face look like I knew it was twins?” Mickey asked. “Holy shit.” He ran a hand through his black hair sighing heavily. He didn’t exactly know it to be excited or scared. Maybe he was a little of both.

“When you come back next visit, I’m sure we will be able to find out the genders.” The doctor continued.

Ian gripped Mickey’s hand tightly and squeezed for his attention. “Two…were having two Mick.”

And Mickey could only feel his heart swell at the thought of two kids half him and almost half of Ian…well Debbie looks just like Ian so he had the hope that maybe the kids came out more like them.

“Two….”

Mickey thinks of their faces. Their sweet little faces and the joy he feels when they smile at him. He turns the key in the ignition and gets the engine going before he peels out of the lot and in the direction from which he came heading back home to see his kids. To see Ian.

* * *

When Ian was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he had truly believed his life was over. Everyone around him was looking at him differently and was expecting him to be like Monica. He felt like he had lost everything including Mickey. Even though he knows now that was quite the opposite at that time in his life. Mickey had stuck it through, continued loving him while in prison even after Ian had broken his heart, still came looking for him when he broke out and in the end gave himself up to the federal government so Ian wouldn’t be alone in prison. Why Ian never saw Mickey’s big romantic gestures for what they really was a mystery to him. But now he sees it. He’s sitting on his comfort couch with two little warm bodies cuddled into him, on tiny hand gripping the hem of his T-shirt on one’s side and on the other a tiny leg is draped over him.

If there was one thing that Ian had realised over the years was how much he took for granted Mickey’s ability to love. After he’d Felt the full force of the man’s love himself he thought there couldn’t possibly be more to give but then Yevgeny came back into their lives and there Mickey went shocking Ian again. And then the twins were born and the moment Mickey’s eyes lay on them, Ian could see his boyfriend’s heart grew even larger.

It was like any regular night. Mickey was lying in his and Ian’s bed slowly drifting to sleep while Ian sat under the glow of his lamp against the headboard reading, while Franny lay sound asleep between them. The fees might before Debbie, who had been staying with them for the last month of her pregnancy woke up in the night to Her daughter kicking her in her sleep and making it almost impossible for Debbie to get rest. Ian felt bad to make the kid sleep on the couch so he’d picked a sleeping Franny up and put her between him and Mickey to sleep. The five year old delivered some solid kicks to Mickey while she slept but it’s wasn’t anything that he couldn’t handle.

Ian hears in the distance the sound of the bathroom door closing down the hall and then suddenly Debbie is calling out, “Ian! My water broke!”everything moved too fucking quickly for his liking. They dropped Yevgeny down a couple streets away at Svetlana’s and he and Mickey made their way to the hospital while trying to stay calm for Debbies sake.

Ian’s and Mickey stood beside Debbie tending to her and comforting her throughout her contractions claiming that they’d both seem enough vagina in their lives which only started the conversation about _when the fuck did Ian see a vagina_. “You mean besides the fact that I used to help take care of Debbie when she was small?”

“Yeah that’s exactly what I mean,”

Then the talk about Ian only hook up with a girl and just disgusted he was. They both however shut up after Debbie yelled at them to go bicker outside. They both zipped their lips as the doctor came in announced it was just about that time.it only took about thirty minutes later before the first baby was on the way out. Ian spared a glance down to where he could see the doctor holding the babies head as the rest of the body follows. “Holy shit Mick…she’s got a full head of red hair.”

“You’re right Dad, it’s a girl.” The doctor smiled up before handing their baby to a nurses. The sound of the shrieking cry causing tears to well up in Ian’s eyes and he looks over to Mickey to see him staring with wide blue eyes in the direction the nurse had take their daughter. The contractions that overtook Debbie caused her to squeeze both Ian and Mickey’s hands jolting then from their daze. The second was much faster and before they knew it the doctor was holding up a blood covered tiny human exclaiming “it’s a boy!” By the time the babies were cleaned up and brought back to them and placed on Debbie’s chest Ian could see Mickey had tears in his eyes. Mickey was the first to hold their son and he couldn’t help but notice that the kid got his nose but Ian’s chin. He smiles as he lets his hand reach to the small hat to tug it up slightly. Unlike his sister, their baby boy’s hair wasn’t as fiery red. He was a ginger but his red was a much darker one almost like you mixed strands of Ian’s hair with Mickey’s. “So, did you guys decide on names yet?” Debbies asks smiling a tired smile.

“Yeah we did actually.” Ian says, “this..” he says as he tilts his arm as he holds their baby girl, “is Isla Gallagher-Milkovich.”

“And this..” Mickey said continuing “is Maverick Gallagher-Milkovich.”

“Hmm…Isla and Maverick Gallagher-Milkovich…I like it. Unique.”

 


	4. To Cherish

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The clock had just turned 3:42 am when Mickey pulled onto the freeway. He hadn’t been this fully awake at this hour since the twins would get up in the middle of the night. He loved those days, getting to see Isla and Mavi change every day but he doesn’t miss it. If it’s one thing that Mickey loves is getting his sleep. At this hour on a usual day, he’d be woken up to both Isla and Mavi crawling into his and Ian’s bed. Mavi on Ian’s side and Isla on his. He’d stir in his sleep enough to put an arm around her and tuck her close to his chest but he’d fall right back into his deep sleep. What he would do to have his arms around his little girl right now while Ian’s front presses against his back, while Maverick’s tiny arm wraps around Ian’s waist from behind, his little fingers skirting Mickey’s side.

He blinks a couple times to focus on the road he misses his family and he’s only been gone for about two hours.

It kind of reminds him of the first day he went back out to work after the twins were born. He remembers calling in to Ian who was still home every hour for an update. He remember sitting in the locker room of the garage and scrolling through the dozens of pictures Ian would send him. One of Mavi’s tiny feet, Isla’s little smile while she sleeps. If anyone told Mickey he’d be such a family man after running drug, whores and guns the way he did in his late teens, or being locked up on a fifteen year sentence, then escaping to Mexico only to run his mouth on Cartel and get put right back into prison, he’d tell you that you and everyone you knew were insane. But as the world would have it here he was, earning a steady legal paycheck that afforded him enough money to purchase his and Ian’s first home, to be able to provide for his three kids and Svetlana in any way that he could. Not that she takes it because she scored big when she stole half her now dead husband’s riches.

He’s doing better and a better man shouldn’t have hopped in his car the first sign of distress and driven off. He starts to actually piece together the reasons why he got so worked up. He’d come home that night dragging his feet into the house and toeing off his shoes before heading in further to the sound of his family in the kitchen. Ian was bustling away at the stove while yev sat at the kitchen counter with his books spread out. The twins were in their high chairs eating their mush that Ian made. “Hey Dad.” Yev said as he spotted his father.

“Hey, Buddy.” Mickey ruffled his eldest son’s head before kissing it and then turning toward the two toddlers who cheered loudly at his presence. “Hey princess.” Mickey smiled kissing his daughter’s cheek before blowing a raspberry and then heading over to his youngest nuzzling his nose into his plump cheeks, “Hey, Blue.” The nickname had started the moment Maverick had opened his eyes and Mickey had see just how blue his eyes were.

_Ian, he has the bluest eyes. Hey, baby blue._ Mickey couldn’t stop smiling down at his kid and marveling over his eyes. He also couldn’t help but blush when Ian looked at him and said Now you get to see what I do when I look at your eyes.

Maverick was indeed a mini Mickey. Well despite the dark auburn colour of his hair unlike his sisters bright orange. He looked much like Yevgeny when he was a baby minus the blonde locks. He didn’t only have Mickey’s face, but he had a lot of Mickey’s ways. Ian always joked that Mavi was probably the most grumpy baby he’d ever met. The kid had a permanent furrowed brow and a pout but he was also the sweetest little boy. Whenever Ian would be feeling low on his off days it was always Mavi to come cuddling up to him on the couch or leaning his head into Ian’s leg while they stood. It was no secret that Mavi was Ian-struck much like Mickey. He followed Ian around and he always climbed on Ian’s side of the bed.

Isla on the other hand was the opposite. Her fiery red head and he jolly, upbeat personality was made for a stunning resemblance to what Mickey seems as Puppy Ian – fifteen year old Ian that Mickey no doubt fell in love with. Their daughter was spunky and outspoken at her young age and she didn’t take shit from her brothers. But she was so loving and always laughing that Mickey could tell she’d break many hearts in the future.

He made his way over to Ian and smacked his lips against Ian’s before leaning his head in to nudge Ian’s shoulder before heading back to Yev. It’s was a small gesture but those little things spoke millions with them. “What’s your homework?”

“I have a math quiz tomorrow. Can you help me study?”

“Sure thing. Go out your stuff in your room and clean up for dinner we’ll look at it after we eat.” And with that Yev was bouncing off toward his room. Mickey picked up the empty bowls from the twins and set them into the sink and then grabbed a couple wipes to get them cleaned up. “You two stinkies are gonna have to bathe.” Mickey said scrunching up his nose at them. It wasn’t long before they were sitting at the dinner table. Mavi Ian’s lap while Isla leaned against Mickey’s leg not wanting to sit, but opening her mouth for bits of Mickey’s food despite just eating her own.

“So how was work? You finish fixing the BMW?” Ian asked as he moved Maverick’s hand out of his plate.

“Yeah…But some guy brought in Harley he wants us to fix. Boss said I get OT on the entire job if I take it because we don’t usually do bikes.”

“Sweet!”

“Dad! My reci-ci-na is comin’ up” Isla said beside Mickey beaming her bright smile.

“Your what?” Mickey asked teasingly.

“Her recital.” Yev laughed, “She’s actually getting good.”

“Yeah? You went with her today for practice?” Mickey asked looking at his eldest.

“Yeah…Mom wanted to see how Isla’s doing so she took me.” Svetlana had grown to absolutely adore the twins. Mickey already heard her teaching then little bits of Russian. She always wanted to see how they were doing in whatever small activity they were in. Maverick hadn’t joined anything yet because let’s just say his people skills aren’t great. Ian said they’re waiting a couple years before Hey join him in a sport but they have to wait until he cuts out his biting habit. They’re working on it.

Dinner went like any other night and Mickey headed to the bathroom to help Ian bathe the twins. When they were done with their bath Ian took them to their room to get them dressed while Mickey helped Yev with his work. They were a well-oiled machine at this point. When all the kids were tucked in bed by 9 pm Mickey and Ian plopped down on the couch together.

“I missed you.” Mickey blurted into the silence of their living room. Ian snuggled closer before closing his eyes.

Mickey would have thought Ian fell asleep until he was getting up and telling Mickey to wait right there. After five minutes in the bathroom he came back out with a nervous smile on his face. “So I wanna ask you something but you can’t say anything until I’m finish.” Mickey furrowed his brows at his boyfriend before waving his hand in a motion for him to continue.

“Okay…Mikhailo Milkovich, I love you so much. And I don’t know if you noticed the date today…but it’s officially been four years since you’ve been released from prison. And I just wanted to let you know that I’m so happy that I get to do this” he said gesturing to the entire room, “with you. And I was wondering…well…” he fished into his pocket retrieving a small box and then opening it to reveal two simple gold bands, “Will you be my forever, through bad, good, sickness health? Will you marry me?”

Mickey remained silent mostly. Until something was bubbling just under the surface. Something he hadn’t felt in years. Something he had fought the never think about again. His own words. It means we take care of each other. It means thick and thin. Good times, bad, sickness, health all that shit. Those were things he promised Ian, but it wasn’t that that was running through his mind. It was Ian’s response. The way Ian made fun of Mickey’s willingness to commit.

“Seriously?” Mickey suddenly asked, “Are you fucking serious?” Ian’s face fell because he’s heard that kind of tone in Mickey’s voice already.

“I-I don’t get it. Why are you mad?”

“Why am I mad?” Mickey pushed himself off the couch and laughed sarcastically as he pushed his knuckle against his nose, “Why you gotta fuck shit up Ian? Why? Is what we have just not good enough? It’s always like you to want more. More more more. Anything I do or give is never good enough. You always gotta fucking push.” Mickey yelled.

“What the hell are you talking about? Of course you’re good enough. You’re more than good enough. That’s why I want to marry you. Why are you getting so riled up?”

“You’re seriously asking me that. You’re telling me you can’t think of one reason why I’d be mad that you chose to say those words to me and expect me to be okay with it and just accept your offer?”

“Mick…can you keep your voice down? The kids will wake up.” Ian pleaded, “can you come sit down so we can talk about this? I don’t understand. I really don’t and I just want you to explain it to me. Please.”

Mickey sat back down but on the single couch away from Ian. “Why the fuck what we got isn’t good enough? Why do we have to change anything?”

“Is that what it’s about? Change? It’s not gonna change anything Mickey.”

“Well if it isn’t gonna change anything at all then why do it? Why not leave shit the way it is?” And that’s how their night went the same argument on a loop without getting anywhere. Mickey would refuse to tell Ian why he was mad simply because Ian should know.

It all blew up the moment that Ian yelled, “What’s so wrong with me wanting to marry you, to love you, to take fucking care of you?” What was so wrong with Mickey wanting to take care of Ian? Mickey grabbed the keys off the counter along with his wallet and his phone and then slipped his untied boots on grabbed his jacket. “You sit and think really long and hard and figure it out.”

“Where the fuck are you going Mickey?”

“Just leave me along right now, Ian. Don’t fucking follow me.”

“Are you coming back?” Ian asked but Mickey had already left and Ian could help to hold back the tears any longer. He let them flow freely down his face not quite understanding what the fuck actually happened.

Mickey in the other hand leaned against the outside of their front door before he could steady himself. He could hear Ian crying but he didn’t want to deal with anything like that right now. He was being selfish for once and thinking of him. So he got into their car, started the engine and took off not entirely sure where exactly he was going. He just needed to clear his head.


	5. Til' Death Do Us Part

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The air was cold and his vision was blurred making it that much hard for him to really see through the hazel fog that his mind was in. It took him a few minutes to focus as he walked down the street toward his home. He was in nothing but a Henley and a flannel causing him to shiver from the winter air. He felt dizzy and the cotton mouth was back. It’s those pills they make him pop in military prison. They’re still coursing through his blood. By the time he gets to the wooden rickety steps he’s dizzy and he can only lower himself to third step. He’s been think as much as could about what Monica had told him. He doesn’t want Mickey to have to live the way Frank does, or him and his siblings do. Waiting around to see if Monica would stick around or just waiting for her to go off the rails again.

Mickey’s got enough shit to deal with as it is. He gets his phone out and he dials Mickey. The phone rings rings and rings until it goes straight to voicemail. He couldn’t really blame Mickey if he didn’t want to see him. After all he did pull a Monica and ran off and then is now showing back up. While he stares at the blank phone, it begins to vibrate Mick. “Hey Mick.”

“Where the fuck are you?” Mickey breathes on the other end.

“I just got home.”

“I’m coming. Stay there.” And then the line ends. Ian leans back against the railing and looks up at the grey sky. He thinks of the best way to let Mickey go because he can’t let Mickey ruin himself by being with him.

_You used to love me, now you don’t even know who I am._

_You don’t owe me anything._

_I love you_

_The hell does that even mean?_

_It means we take care of each other._

_I don’t want you sitting around worrying, watching me, waiting for me to do my next crazy shit._

_It means thick and thin, good times bad, sickness health all that shit._

_You gonna marry me? We gonna go down to the courthouse in some tuxes like a couple old queens?_

_Fuck you._

Ian wakes up in a sweat, he jerks awake on the couch with beads of perspiration dripping down the sides of his head. Isla’s legs is still draped over his thigh and Mavi is still gripping to his T-shirt tightly. He leans back into the couch so he wouldn’t wake them as he takes a steady breath in. He hasn’t really dreamt that night in a really long time. Heck every time he dreams it always gets cut short at the point where Mickey says he loves him. It never goes further and Ian now thinks it’s because he never wanted to accept the things he had done or said to Mickey.

Ian looks up at the clock on the wall it’s 4:15 am. His chest feels tight because he’s panicking. Mickey left and has been gone for more than two hours. And it’s all Ian’s fucking fault. He knows now why Mickey got mad. He told Mickey what Mickey had told him all those years ago. Then he got mad when Mickey said no. But it’s the same thing he’d done to the other man. Mickey’s had been so open to commitment diving head first into it all those years ago because he simply loved Ian. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know the full extent to which Ian’s illness went. Ian’s bipolar was never a factor to Mickey. Mickey had decided long before to love him in spite of his illness. Ian runs a hand down his face and he breathes out deeply. He fucked up. He only hopes Mickey comes back home.

Mavi seems to be having a bad dream because his right leg kicks out and he grunts in his sleep, something Mickey always does. Ian rests a hand on his son’s back and rubs him trying to calm him in his sleep. He looks back at the clock 4:18, fuck he really home Mickey makes it home by five. If he doesn’t, this’ll be the longest he’s left for during an argument and Ian doesn’t want to think of what that could mean. He sits and wonders how much works he’s going to have to put in to make shit better. Can he just take the proposal back? He doesn’t want to but if Mickey wants him to then he will. He’ll take it back and they’ll next talk about it again if that’s what Mickey wants.

He lets himself focus on the warmth of his daughter and son for a minutes before the sound of the keys in the door makes his head snap up.

He looks over to clock on more time 4:57, he breathes a sigh of relief when the door opens and close and then he sees Mickey slowly emerging from the foyer. He came back. He somehow always seems to come back at the right time. He sees Mickey’s eyes flicker toward the kids and the guilt he feels is written all over his face. Mickey walks over, not saying a word before he kneels down in front Ian but he doesn’t really look at the red head. His eyes are focused on the kids. He leans is and kisses each their heads before looking down at where Mavi’s hands are gripping into Ian.

“I’m sorry.”

* * *

“I’m sorry.”

Mickey’s head snaps up at the sound of Ian’s words. The redheads eyes a red-brimmed and there sweat coming down his neck. He’d been sleeping and he’d had a nightmare. Mickey could tell it all from just looking at Ian. After all the years he’d spent loving Ian he’s learnt a thing or two about the man.

On his way back home, he’d thought about all the ways he was going to have to explain what he was thinking. Ian was smart guy but he could be quite oblivious sometimes. He thought Ian probably hadn’t even figured out yet why he was mad. So to hear Ian say he was sorry, well that only took him by surprise.

“I didn’t think about what I said. I didn’t even remember you saying those things. I try to forget about that day sometimes. I shouldn’t have…I’m not sorry I asked you. But I’m sorry for how I did and that I didn’t think about how you’d feel.”

Mickey straightened up and leaned forward until his forehead pressed against Ian’s, “I’m sorry I left.” He’s not sorry for feeling the way he did. But he is sorry for leaving.

“Do you want to forget I asked?”

Mickey pulled back looking at Ian, “No. I don’t think can forget that. Plus, my answer is yes.”

Ian shook his head in confusion before looking Mickey dead in the eye, “Really?”

“Yeah…it’s not like the way I felt then had changed. I still want those things. I just…it triggered something in me and I … I freaked out. But I want those things. Heck we have those things. Like you said….it doesn’t have to change anything.”

Ian leaned into Mickey’s forehead, “I love you,” Ian said as Mickey tilted his chin up to capture Ian’s lips with his own.

“Ask me again.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Mickey nodded.

Ian reach for the ring box on the coffee table and then held it out to Mickey, “Mikhailo Milkovich…will you marry me?”

“Yeah…I will.” Mickey said as he kissed Ian again letting his hand tug a little at the shirt red strands at the nape of Ian’s neck.

“Daddy?” Mickey And Ian pulled away to see Isla’s grey eyes open and a slight morning scowl on her face.

“Hey sweet pea.” Mickey cooked as she climbed off the couch and into his arms, “I’m sorry we woke you.”

She buried her face into Mickey’s neck. Mickey kissed the side of her head before standing up with her in his arms, “Let’s get you back to bed.”

Ian got up and scooped Maverick into his arms before they both headed into the twins’ bedroom. They placed the both kids into their cribs before kissing their heads and then heading back out toward their own room. When they got there and Mickey started peeling his clothing off Ian came up behind him wrapping his arms around Mickey’s waist.

“I love you, Mick. So much.” He kisses behind Mickey neck, then his ear. “Please forgive me.” Mickey turned in Ian’s arms wrapping his arms around Ian’s neck while slightly nodding.

“I love you too.”

He pulled Ian toward the bed and then let them both fall to the mattress. He pulled Ian over him and let their warmth combine as Ian kissed his neck.

“I love all of you, Mickey.”

“Thick.” Mickey said kissing Ian’s neck, “thin,” he kissed Ian’s ear, “good,” kiss, “bad.” He licked along Ian’s jaw, “sickness,” and then he pressed his lips to Ian’s, “health. I want all of it with you, til death do us part.”

 


End file.
